I suggest another: "speak and use appreciation to direct your adversary".
People go where they are appreciated. When you compliment someone's behavior (pick the behavior you like), you inevitably re-inforce and drive the appreciated behavior.
And a military becomes a waste...
What would the world be like if the USA used it's 500 Billion dollar annual military budget to blog about behavior around the globe that we "appreciated"?
Every parent knows this works....
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