The field of ESTA-1 variety hemp, showing the relatively weed free ground below the plants.
Ontario, CANADA's Renfrew County - the farm of John and Rae Ann Briscoe - Harvest 2006

Dear President Obama,

I'll be brief, here. The Environmental Protection Agency has further correspondence from me regarding government incompetency in Northeast Ohio, you may want to investigate.

Today, I am writing out of concern for your apparent lack of familiarity with basic science and technology. I don't know where you are from, but in America the Earth is round, and hemp grows here by God! You have scientists in your employ who will confirm that, and that hemp may easily be grown by American farmers without setting off a wave of reefer madness.

Your Chief Technology Officer, Aneesh Chopra, may confirm modern information technology enables monitoring of just about anything and everything on Earth, down to the nanoscale, including big fat hemp plants, so there is adequate technology in existence today to guard hemp crops against drug dealers more incompetent than DEA agents, who may mistake hemp for marijuana, or who are moronic enough to commingle the two.

The thought of such fears is more absurd than that the Earth is flat. Did you know we now have unmanned aircraft that can cheaply monitor fields from the sky and even kill drug dealers if they do try anything... used in the Middle East all the time. Have Mr. Chopra contact me if he needs clarifications... we can even have Google and Facebook help, to float even the biggest technology tankers.

Of course, the DEA can't even monitor controlled prescription drugs, MDs and pill mills... we certainly wouldn't expect them to know how to handle something important like agriculture, which must feed and clothe America. What an idiotic idea.

Gil Kerlikowske, Director of National Drug Control Policy

The only reasons not to grow hemp in America now are because you want to pollute the planet and change climate for the worst, keep unemployment high, ensure national deficits remain astronomical, and fall further behind China and every other developed county on Earth in global innovation, health and economic prosperity. Does that somehow benefit American unions, the Middle Class or Wall Street?

I didn't think so either.

I consider your position on hemp proof you do not in fact want to be President of the United States after this term, are dismantling the Democratic party, and plan to turn the White House over to a new leader, which is your right. However, I believe Americans would appreciate notification of that now, so we may select a great new leader.

In the mean time, a group of international hemp and technology leaders have founded the IntraCom cooperative, not-for-profit United Cannabis Exchange - a commodities exchange to develop the cannabis economies worldwide, including in America, for American and global farmers - and I intend to ask Governors to declare crop emergencies in any states where growing conditions have been impacted by disaster this spring - from flooding to drought - where hemp would be an optimal emergency crop, and we will assist states to grow hemp there. The Governors will need to use home rule to keep Federal forces from interfering, and must provide grants to protect farmers from losses due to Federal raids, and promises of pardons for farmers and their babies and children if arrested by federal authorities for growing hemp, and the protection of state police and national guard... and a pardon for me for helping to bring hemp, $ billions in tax revenues, and 1,000,000s of jobs to the American economy.

Governors, hear my call... in your state the Earth is round, and hemp grows there by God! All 50... especially Hawaii.

We shall grow hemp in America in 2011, with Presidential approval or without it. The big, polluted, overpopulated, starving round world must keep spinning, even as the Flat Earth Society stands still in the 1930s.

I wish you had learned all this in science class. You really do need to fix public education, you know.

Ask your wife about hemp. She knows.

A proud American, I remain,

Norm Roulet

Founder - InT+IME - IntraCom - ICEarth - realNEO - real coop - 7gen - Star Neighborhood Development - United Cannabis Exchange (UCANX)
norm [at] realneo [dot] us